An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #surgery #appearance #operation #change #development

Nowadays, cosmetic

surgery

is commonly aimed at each person to enhance his physical traits and appearance.

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the increasing number of individuals are choosing

this

surgery

due to

the sight of the community or other effects.In

this

essay ,I will discuss both positive and negative development in society. First of all, having an operation on cosmetic

surgery

can ameliorate self-esteem and confidence in some cases it is necessary following accidents.

For instance

, advanced burns in wildfires and other natural catastrophes.

In addition

, some teenagers are facing bullying and harassment in high school or public discrimination about their physical traits , they are unsatisfied with their looks and frequently they struggle with anxiety and depression,

thus

they proceed with

surgery

.In

this

fact, I do believe that it is a negative development because in extreme cases ,

surgery

mistakes are irreversible .

Moreover

, it can be beneficial to social life and mental health .

However

, common dangers include the fact that it can permanently damage the individual's muscles and skin making these a serious risk of cosmetic

surgery

due to

the advancement of technology.

For example

, a facelift can cause permanent nerve damage which can provoke face paralysis.

That is

clear

that is

a negative development. In conclusion, I argue that it is dangerous and harmful to our health and I do not support these surgeries because each one of us has a particular charm that distinguishes us from society,but when it comes to the judgment of people around us, our relatives can play a key role to help us deal with

this

issue .

Thu Mar 30 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Idealized beauty standards
Cosmetic surgery
Advancements in medical technology
Socially acceptable
Self-improvement
Psychological well-being
Competitive workforce
Youthful appearance
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
Physical appearance

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