Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many people not get enough exercise ? What can be done about this problem ?

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In
this
contemporary era,
people
are of the notion that
due to
their hectic
work
,schedules they do not get
time
to
work
out during the day or even in their free
time
which results in serious
health
problems.
This
essay will elucidate the reasons in detail with relevant examples in subsequent paragraphs. To start, individuals prioritise their careers before their
health
which can lead to many
health
issues. To elaborate, working
people
are so engrossed in their
work
that they may not have spare
time
left to
work
out and
due to
excessive ,workload
people
may experience stress which impacts their mental and physical
health
.
Moreover
, individuals might prefer spending their remaining
time
with their friends or family
instead
of investing it in self-care. To exemplify, borderline diabetes is one of the emerging diseases in the age group of 25-35 years.
Thus
, the above example vividly illustrates how getting , and not having enough
time
can impact one's
health
. To address the second question, various steps can be taken to tackle
this
problem
such
as organizations can arrange fitness sessions for their employees' well-being which would
also
increase their efficiency to
work
more productively.
In addition
, the government can reduce the working hours for both private and public sectors and penalize the organisations that
work
overtime.
For example
, in Dubai,
4 day
Correct your spelling
the 4-day
working week law has been implemented so that the employees can keep their
work
-life
balanced
Replace the word
balance
show examples
.
Hence
, the aforementioned reason substantiates how to mitigate
this
problem. To recapitulate,
people
have hectic working schedules
due to
which they are not able to exercise and spend their leisure
time
with their families to maintain their
work
-life balance. These problems can be solved by taking certain things into consideration
such
as the companies can organise fitness classes for employees and the government can decrease
work
timings for both the public and private sectors.
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task response
Address the second part of the prompt more thoroughly, consider providing more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but consider providing a stronger connection between them to enhance coherence.
lexical resource
You have used a range of vocabulary, but consider using more precise and varied vocabulary to express your ideas more accurately.
grammatical range
Your use of grammar is generally accurate, but some sentences could be restructured for clarity and precision. Also, varying your sentence structure can enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
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