The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
The diagram illustrates how the
manufacture
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manufacturer
show examples
use
Change the verb form
uses
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sugar
cane to produce
sugar
.
Overall
, there are a total of 7 main steps in
this
process
and 2 choices for harvesting
sugar
canes
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cane
show examples
. Except
from
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for
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harvesting
Correct article usage
the harvesting
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and growing part, most of the processes are completed by
mechines
Correct your spelling
machines
.
Sugar
canes
need around 12-18 months in order to be ready for cutting. In the
process
of harvesting, the farmer can either collect
sugar
canes
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cane
show examples
using human
labor
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labour
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or
using
Wrong verb form
use
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a
truckter
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trucker
tracker
, which can cut and collect a large
amount
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number
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of crops
in
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at
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one time.
Then
the
sugar
canes
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cane
show examples
will be crushed out
their
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of their
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juice
using a crushing
mechine
Correct your spelling
machine
. In order to remove
unwanted
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the unwanted
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substance
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substances
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, the
juice
will go through a limestone filter to purify. After the purification
process
, the
manufacture
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manufacturer
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will
heat-up
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heat up
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the purified
juice
in order to
evaporates
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evaporate
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water from the
juice
and thicken it. In the sixth step, they will centrifuge the syrup to
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
sugar
crystals from it.
Lastly
,
sugar
will
be produce
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be produced
show examples
after the drying and cooling
process
.
Submitted by purita.w on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, process, canes, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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