The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane
The diagram illustrates how the
manufacture
Replace the word
manufacturer
use
Change the verb form
uses
sugar
cane to produce sugar
.
Overall
, there are a total of 7 main steps in this
process
and 2 choices for harvesting sugar
canes
. Except Fix the agreement mistake
cane
from
Change preposition
for
harvesting
and growing part, most of the processes are completed by Correct article usage
the harvesting
mechines
.
Correct your spelling
machines
Sugar
canes
need around 12-18 months in order to be ready for cutting. In the process
of harvesting, the farmer can either collect sugar
canes
using human Fix the agreement mistake
cane
labor
or Change the spelling
labour
using
a Wrong verb form
use
truckter
, which can cut and collect a large Correct your spelling
trucker
tracker
amount
of crops Change the quantifier
number
in
one time. Change preposition
at
Then
the sugar
canes
will be crushed out Fix the agreement mistake
cane
their
Change preposition
of their
juice
using a crushing mechine
. In order to remove Correct your spelling
machine
unwanted
Add an article
the unwanted
substance
, the Fix the agreement mistake
substances
juice
will go through a limestone filter to purify. After the purification process
, the manufacture
will Replace the word
manufacturer
heat-up
the purified Correct your spelling
heat up
juice
in order to evaporates
water from the Change the verb
evaporate
juice
and thicken it. In the sixth step, they will centrifuge the syrup to seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
sugar
crystals from it. Lastly
, sugar
will be produce
after the drying and cooling Change the verb form
be produced
process
.Submitted by purita.w on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, process, canes, juice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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