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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table chart illustrates how much
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on items of three different categories in five different
countries
Use synonyms
 in 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 five
countries
Use synonyms
 paid for food, drinks and tobacco other than two items.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, all of them spent the least
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure and education. First of all,
items
Change preposition
for items
show examples
 from
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
, drinks and tobacco category, Turkey spent the largest
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 them, the figure was 32.14%. Following that, Ireland took up 28.91%, which was the
second highest
Add a hyphen
second-highest
show examples
 percentage. Spain accounted for 18.80%, and the rest two
countries
Use synonyms
 made up nearly 16%. As for the clothing and footwear section, Italy was the first place, the percentage was 9%.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
 large
countries
Use synonyms
 were Ireland, Spain and Turkey, they took up approximately 6% respectively.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Sweden paid the smallest amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on fashion, about 5%.
Finally
Linking Words
, when it comes to leisure and education, Turkey paid the largest amount of
money
Use synonyms
, 4.35%.
Next,
Linking Words
Sweden and Italy were
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place, they accounted for about 3% each. Ireland and
Spain
Add the possessive form
Spain's
show examples
 citizens spent the smallest amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on their leisure
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
, about 2% respectively.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, countries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer spending
  • items
  • countries
  • food
  • drinks
  • tobacco
  • clothing
  • footwear
  • household goods
  • services
  • leisure
  • education
  • other products
  • comparison
  • highest
  • lowest
  • followed by
  • in all countries
  • various
  • summarise
  • main features
  • relevant
  • information
  • selecting
  • reporting
  • spending
  • table
  • goods
  • data
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