Parents are trying to reach childcare tutors to learn how to take care of their children. Is this essential? Give your opinion on this and illustrate an example

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In
this
day and age, more and more parents are learning how to nurture their kids from childcare tutors. From my perspective, I believe
this
course is extremely crucial for parents, especially those who are preparing to deliver their first kid;
however
, other methods could be employed to help raise their children. On one hand, acquiring knowledge from a babysitting tutor can provide those who are preparing to welcome their first child into the world.
This
is
due to
the fact that childcare instructors have spent a lot of time researching the behaviour of children,
thus
they can provide learners with basic knowledge
such
as changing diapers and feeding toddlers.
For example
, many American couples have attended similar courses related to nurturing a baby and learned valuable lessons
such
as calming down the little angle or how to feed a newborn child properly.
However
,
this
may not be necessary for people who have more than one kid. Simply put, these individuals have had experience dealing with the firstborn child,
hence
they can apply the information they have gathered about toddler behaviour to their next baby.
For instance
,
due to
spending years raising their first kid, now parents can what exactly their baby is crying for, whether it is for food or a nap.
Moreover
, several online platforms
such
as Facebook and YouTube
also
provide articles about childcare, namely sleep training and healthy meals. In conclusion, despite the babysitting courses
may
Verb problem
apply
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not
be
Wrong verb form
being
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essential for every parent, I believe it is important for them to acquire information from experienced individuals to help their kids develop in the most suitable way.
Nevertheless
, people should base their
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
on their unique circumstances.
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task response
Your essay provides a clear opinion on the topic and discusses both the importance of childcare tutors for first-time parents and the alternative methods available for experienced parents. Make sure to address all parts of the prompt in detail to further enhance your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph is clearly focused on a specific aspect of the topic, and transitions between ideas are smooth. Consider strengthening the connection between paragraphs by using more linking words and phrases.
task response
Clear opinion expressed on the importance of childcare tutors for parents
coherence cohesion
Well-structured essay with a logical flow of ideas
task achievement
Examples provided are relevant and support the main points effectively
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