IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that technological development can reduce crime, while others think that it would encourage crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #development #crime
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There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the fact that automation impacts
crime
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.
While
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 some claim that
crime
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 can be deteriorated by technological
improvement
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, the opposite makes a statement that machinery will increase in
crime
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rate
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.
Although
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 each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned elements. Without a shadow of a doubt, the
crime
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rate
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 can decrease with the development of
technology
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. Living conditions are enhanced considerably by the development of
technology
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 with a view to decreasing the
crime
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rate
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.
For example
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, surveillance cameras in malls, offices and buildings in order to make progress in security and help citizens be more reliable and make criminals halt their plans.
Hence
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, it is necessary for the
improvement
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 of
technology
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 to reduce the
rate
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 of criminals.
While
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 the act as a precursor of
technology
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 in
crime
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 is widely acknowledged,
technology
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’s drawback is
also
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 important, especially in cybercrime. Nowadays, with the
improvement
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 substantially in the Internet, the number of hackers has increased rapidly, which has caused millions of financial losses and negative effects in society.
For instance
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, hackers attack databases of enterprises with viruses called ransomware and encrypted important data.
Furthermore
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, hackers steal social media accounts
such
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 as Facebook, Instagram and Google so that they can take names, dates of birth, ID numbers and credit cards.
Thus
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, the jeopardization of
technology
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 plays an important role. In conclusion,
technology
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 has both pros and cons. It is essential for technological
improvement
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 to decrease the
crime
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rate
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. Meanwhile,
technology
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’s downside is
also
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 far-reaching in our society.
Submitted by phamduyanhferrari on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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