IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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As the population of large
cities
Use synonyms
 continues to grow, providing sufficient housing has become a major challenge for governments. I strongly agree that constructing high-rise
apartment
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 buildings is the most effective solution because it makes efficient use of limited land
while
Linking Words
 promoting sustainable urban development. One of the primary advantages of tall
apartment
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 blocks is that they maximise land use. Unlike detached houses, which occupy large areas of land, high-rise buildings can accommodate hundreds of families within the same space.
As a result
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,
cities
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 can meet the growing demand for housing without expanding into surrounding green areas.
This
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 helps reduce urban sprawl, preserve natural habitats and minimise deforestation, all of which contribute to environmental sustainability and help mitigate the effects of climate change. Another important benefit is that
apartment
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 living better reflects the lifestyle of many modern families. Smaller households generally require less living space and spend less time maintaining large properties.
In addition
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,
apartment
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 complexes are often built close to schools, hospitals, shopping centres and public transport networks.
This
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 allows residents to commute more easily, reduces travelling time and improves their
overall
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 quality of life.
Cities
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such
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 as New York and Toronto demonstrate how well-planned high-rise developments can provide comfortable housing
while
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 supporting efficient urban infrastructure. In conclusion, I believe that high-rise
apartment
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 buildings are the most practical way to address housing shortages in large
cities
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. They not only provide accommodation for a growing urban population but
also
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 encourage sustainable development, protect the environment and improve the quality of life for city residents.

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task response
To reach an even stronger score, add one short point about a possible bad side, such as high cost, crowding, or small rooms. Then say why tall homes are still the best main way.
task response
Make the city example more exact. Say how tall homes in one city help many people live near trains, work, or schools.
coherence and cohesion
Your links are good, but do not use too many long lists in one line. Split a long idea into two short lines when needed.
coherence and cohesion
The second main part is a little wider than the question. Keep the link to 'enough homes' very clear in every main point.
task response
You give a clear view from the start: you strongly agree. Your main ideas stay on this view.
task response
You explain two strong reasons: tall homes save land, and they can make city life easier. The examples of New York and Toronto are on topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear four-part form: start, two main parts, and end. Each part has one main point.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words such as 'As a result', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion' help the reader follow your ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • housing shortage = not enough homes for people
  • apartment block = a large building with many flats
  • high-rise building = a very tall building
  • limited land = not much land available
  • population growth = the number of people increases
  • urban spread = the city grows into outer areas
  • public transport = buses, trains, and metro systems
  • living conditions = the quality of daily life at home
  • city planning = the way a city is designed and managed
  • green space = parks and open natural areas
  • daily needs = things people need every day
  • costly land = land that is very expensive
  • mixed housing = different kinds of homes in one area
  • sense of community = the feeling of belonging with neighbors
  • traffic pressure = too many cars on the roads
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