Some people say the government should not put money into building theaters and sports stadiums, they should spend more money on medical care and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree this opinion?

According to
some people, investments made by the government into building sports venues are wasted. From their point of view, public funds should be put into medical care and education. In
this
essay, I want to summarize the main points of
this
thesis and share my opinion about it.
First,
government money comes from taxpayers.
Thus
, it should be spent to directly improve their lives and meet their needs. Stadiums and theatres may require a huge amount of money to be completed.
As a consequence
, a significant portion of citizens thinks that all our funds should be spent on upgrading hospitals and improving school
infostructures
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
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due to
the fact that these are priorities for society.
Additionally
, Stadiums are often built to host global sports events like the Olympic games.
For
this
reason, these fancy structures are made bigger than they would be normally necessary.
For example
, some of the fields built for the
last
Football World Cup will soon be demolished because they are no longer needed.
In contrast
, these buildings can have a huge impact on the promotion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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physical activity. Theatres,
on the other hand
, can be fundamental to the culture of the population. To summarize, entertainment complexes are expensive and they are not as important as medical centres
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
schools and universities. In my opinion, it's important that the government promotes physical activity and culture by funding sports venues and theatres.
However
, the number of euros spent on these projects should be just a small percentage of that spent on primary needs
such
as healthcare.
Submitted by cast_pie01 on

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph relates back to the main topic and supports your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure. However, consider using more transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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