Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to study for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many
students
who are going to university believe that they should not stick with their course
, and they ought to seek knowledge from Fix the agreement mistake
courses
subjects
not related to what they are studying. On the other hand
, if they want to be professional in their field, they have to focus just on their main subjects
. In this
essay, I will explain these opposite ideas and my point of view.
On the one hand, many proponents emphasize that we should learn about things that are different from what we're studying. They agree that expanding knowledge in various sectors in life,
will help us to be better in our jobs and relationships. Remove the comma
apply
In addition
, they believe that as the whole world is connected to each other, sometimes studying subjects
other than your main ones could help you to find solutions to many unknown questions in your field. For example
, if scientists had not studied animals, they would not have known that snakes' venom is important in creating many medical drugs.
Conversely
, many people argue that university students
should pay attention to their subjects
to master what they are going to do in the future. They think that studying other subjects
may distract them from reaching their goal which is being good and having a lot of information in their field. As a result
, these students
might find huge problems in finding jobs due to
their poor knowledge and high competition. For instance
, a medical student who reads other subjects
and books, may not be good as they should use most of their time on studying to be good at it.
In conclusion, whether students
agree with studying other subjects
or not. In my opinion, they should manage their time in a way that they focus and study their main subjects
, and in their free time, they study other subjects
that will help them in their lives.Submitted by okalqusay on
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task achievement
Your response addresses both sides of the argument, which is key for a balanced essay. However, ensure to provide deeper analysis or examples in some parts to strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is generally logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance it, use more cohesive devices to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
language
Use a greater variety of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your essay's readability and sophistication.
task achievement
You presented both viewpoints clearly and effectively, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example about the use of snake venom in medical drugs, which added value to your argument.