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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

some people think that government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsible of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides give your opinion.

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Are the forces of the government efficient enough to prevent crimes?
According to
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 some people, they are not.
As a consequence
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, a part of the population is of the idea that we need to protect ourselves. The debate is often related to the theme of gun ownership. In
this
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 essay, I would like to share my opinion about the topic and sum up the main points of both arguments. People who state that only the government should be responsible for safeguarding are concerned about the potential issues of individual protection. The main problem of an individual security policy is the risk of a rise in crime rates.
For example
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, the US allow its citizens to own a gun that can be used to protect themselves. Yet, the effect of
this
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 policy is the opposite. In fact, the rate of people killed in the United States is significantly higher than that in Europe, where it is not legal to own pistols.
In addition
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, it wouldn't be easy to state which case is personal protection and which is not.
Due to
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this
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 difficulty, some criminals could exploit it to avoid jail.
On the other hand
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, the Country is not able to provide efficient prevention. It wouldn't be possible to intervene quickly every time a crime is occurring.
Secondly
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, the force with the task of protecting the citizens is made by human beings. So they could be biased and cause episodes of Police brutality. In fact, we have recently seen many protests in America because it seems like Police can be racist towards the black community. In conclusion, we should trust more institutions. In my opinion, a free market for weapons could have a dramatic impact on society. They work hard to keep us as safe as possible.
However
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, some minor possibilities of personal safeguard would be fundamental when immediate action is required.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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