IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Because of growing populations, more homes are needed in many countries. Do you think it is better to build houses in existing cities or build new towns in the countryside?

#populations #homes #countries #houses #cities #towns #countryside
I have never played
in
Change preposition
apply
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computer
games
. I always was a person, who observed
Add an article
the game
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game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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 from
Correct article usage
the other
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other
Change the wording
another
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 side: set
near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
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 friend or brother,
watched
Correct word choice
and watched
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 some
playstation’s
Correct your spelling
PlayStation
games
 in
company
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the company
a company
show examples
.
Computer
games
 haven’t been my passion and I feel calm fairly toward
to
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apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Although
 my observation of
games
 from
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 side got me a demonstration about kinds of
games
 and I divided
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
on
Change the preposition
into
show examples
 several categories for myself. My lovely kind of
gameplays
Fix the agreement mistake
gameplay
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 cutscene. It is a
game
such
 as a movie or serial, has a storyline and you don’t bore to see it even
you
Correct word choice
if you
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 don’t play.
Game
Add an article
The game
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 comes more
trilling
Correct your spelling
thrilling
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 especially when there is provides
to
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apply
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players the choice to create the storyline on their own and you can see unexpectable stories and context. And co-op is no less popular
game’s
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game
show examples
 kind on parties.
This
 variant allows to participants team up with each other
in
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at
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 the same time
for
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to
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 complete the
compaign
Correct your spelling
campaign
 mode. I can suppose that it would compare with link
games
 like
a
Correct article usage
apply
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World of tanks, but from my experience,
it’s
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 usually plays with interesting obstacles, context and collective brainstorms for
solution
Add an article
the solution
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 of
game
 tasks.
Nevertheless
, I have
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
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gameplays
Fix the agreement mistake
gameplay
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. It can be plays connected with weapons, killings, murders and cruel combats. There are several kinds of
Add an article
the game
a game
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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such
 as loot, FPS,
RTS
Correct word choice
and RTS
show examples
. As for me, it’s not
influence
Correct article usage
an influence
show examples
on
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apply
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my morality or sentience, it is just boring.
Overall
, I believe that I won’t
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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play
in
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apply
show examples
computer
games
 in future, because it’s not so
effect
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effective
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 and
exiting
Correct your spelling
exciting
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 for alone play.
Also
, it takes a lot of time, so I don’t want to spend my
holydays
Correct your spelling
holidays
show examples
 or vacation with
computer
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the computer
a computer
show examples
. But I’m sure, that it is
wonderful
Add an article
a wonderful
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 idea for a party with friends.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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