IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is acceptable to use animals in medical research for the benefit of human beings, while other people argue that it is wrong. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, with the development in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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medical areas, a lot of
animals
Use synonyms
 are used in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
research
Use synonyms
. There
are
Change the verb form
is
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strongly
Change the word
strong
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 discussion that whether using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 in medical
research
Use synonyms
 for the
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
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 of human beings is
rightful
Replace the word
right
show examples
. From my perspective,
although
Linking Words
 some medical
research
Use synonyms
 is brutal for the
animals
Use synonyms
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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it is
necessary
Correct article usage
a necessary
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sacrifice
Add the particle
to sacrifice
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 if we still want to make progress in the medical areas. Some
people
Use synonyms
 might
against
Add a missing verb
be against
show examples
 using
animals
Use synonyms
 in medical
research
Use synonyms
 because they think it is unethical. They believe that
animals
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 creatures like
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human beings, they can feel things ,
even
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and even
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 have
the
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apply
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emotions
and
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apply
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some
people
Use synonyms
 treated their pets as their families, so
animals
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 are supposed to
be treat
Change the verb form
be treated
show examples
 as
people
Use synonyms
 . But in the end, the
animals
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 still different from us ,and the law defines that
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 life is superior
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to the
animals
Use synonyms
’.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can kill
animals
Use synonyms
 for
self-defense
Change the spelling
self-defence
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 or lack of food ,that’s the right given by law. And in most countries,
people
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 feed the
animals
Use synonyms
 like cows ,
Correct word choice
and chicken
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chicken
Fix the agreement mistake
chickens
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 ducks for their meats. All
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 evidence shows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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animals
Use synonyms
 are unequal to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human beings
at
Change preposition
in
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 the first place .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , some
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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accept the idea
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 putting
Add an article
the animal
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animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
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 into medical
research
Use synonyms
 for
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 reasonable for several reasons. First of all, without
animals
Use synonyms
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 involved
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
research
Use synonyms
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
research
Add an article
the research
show examples
 would fail to make progress
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
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 lack of data
of
Change preposition
from
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 experiments.
Although
Linking Words
 there might be some volunteers
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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willing to take the unpredictable risk of the medical testation, their number is limited and can not conclude concrete results
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of
time
Add an article
the time
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. Only let
animals
Use synonyms
 get involved
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
research
Use synonyms
 ,we
are
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
 able to gain enough data to make a reliable conclusion in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
research
Use synonyms
. After all, in my opinion , using
animals
Use synonyms
 for medical
research
Use synonyms
 is essential for the progress of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
research
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 sometimes might be cruel to
animals
Use synonyms
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ethical considerations
  • moral dilemma
  • animal rights
  • alternative methods
  • computer modeling
  • in-vitro testing
  • medical breakthroughs
  • vaccines
  • treatments
  • stringent regulations
  • minimization of suffering
  • humane treatment
  • scientific validity
  • biological similarity
  • applicable results
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