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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can the government do to address the problem? What can the individuals do …?

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Introduction
There are argumentative perspectives heating a debate about how to decrease
human’s
Change noun form
human
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 impact on the environment.
While
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 some claim that
due to
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 improper human activities, the opposite makes a statement that the governor and the individual can do something to tackle
this
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 trouble.
While
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 each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors.
Body · 1
Without a shadow of a doubt, there are a great many methods for humans to destroy the environment, especially
air
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pollution
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. The main cause of
this
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problem
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 is a lot of
people
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use
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 fuel-powered
vehicles
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such
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 as motorbikes and 4-wheeled
vehicles
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 which produce toxic fumes into the atmosphere.
For instance
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, in
Vietnam
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,Vietnam
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a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
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people
Use synonyms
use
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 motorbikes and automobiles to participate in traffic which causes the
problem
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 of
air
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pollution
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.
Thus
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, the increase in the
use
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 of private
vehicles
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 causes the dire status of global warming.
Body · 2
While
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 the
people
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's damaging way is widely acknowledged, the state and the individual should join hands in resolving
this
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problem
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. The governor introduces taxes to encourage
people
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 to
use
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 environmentally-friendly
vehicles
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 and
people
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 are using more public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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 run by alternative energy resources.
For example
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, the government will reduce taxes for those who buy Vinfast electric cars and
people
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 are encouraged to
use
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 mass transit like Vinbus ,
high-sky
Correct word choice
and high-sky
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 train stations.
Hence
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, the state and
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 should combine to reduce
air
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pollution
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion ,
air
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pollution
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 is a serious
problem
Use synonyms
 brought by humans so it is necessary for the authorities and individuals to solve the problems.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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