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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more people nowadays visit well-known places to take photographs of themselves, without looking at the place. Why do you think this happen? Is it a positive or negative trend?

#people #visit #places #photographs #place #happen #trend
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In modern times, most individuals visit popular relaxation centres to take
pictures
Use synonyms
 of themselves without making
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
show examples
 to view the environment. I believe the main reason why
this
Linking Words
 occurs is because of the anxiousness to post on the internet, and I think it's a negative trend.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming more concerned about having really nice, fantastic
pictures
Use synonyms
 to post on their social media platforms as a way to show off.
Hence
Linking Words
, they barely notice what their surroundings look like.
For example
Linking Words
,
People
Use synonyms
 get carried away with the frenzy of being in a famous restaurant and do not care about what the place looks like.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I believe it's a negative trend because of the lack of security awareness it poses. Individuals should be more security conscious of their environments
instead
Linking Words
 of thinking of how to snap and post social media-worthy
pictures
Use synonyms
 for the gram.
In addition
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
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 are getting kidnapped and murdered lately, and
this
Linking Words
 is because
people
Use synonyms
 fail to take cognizance of the happenings around them.
For example
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, a group of youths who went out with their colleague went missing, and when they had the opportunity to quickly alert someone to save them, they couldn't give the exact location or closest landmark to where they were.
On the other hand
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, over-excitement can make
people
Use synonyms
 forget to take note of their location.
This
Linking Words
 is because they are so happy to have fun and explore, taking photographs. In conclusion,
while
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 it is good to be happy and take snap
pictures
Use synonyms
 when in a famous place, I believe it is
also
Linking Words
 important to take security alertness seriously.
Submitted by m.bunmifausat on

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coherence cohesion
Work on making the progression of your ideas smoother. Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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