People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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A debate over whether or not people should select

courses

Use synonyms

based on their interests or with the purpose of finding jobs has gained attention.

While

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some argue that relying solely on personal interests is not advisable. I personally agree with

this

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statement, I support those who believe that choosing subjects should be influenced by

future

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career goals. On one hand, it is necessary for individuals to select

courses

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on the basis of a

future

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career, with the consideration of improving their quality of life. First of all, the primary aim for us to study is to obtain a well-paid job in the

future

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This

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is because high income allows us to be wealthier and enjoy multiple advanced services.

For instance

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, when we earn more money to spend on arts or sports clubs with better services, we find it helpful to reduce our work stress,

thus

Linking Words

enhancing a better living standard of life for us. For another, the

courses

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related to our

future

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planning enable us to be more competitive. If we learn some relative subjects about our

future

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job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

in our present study, it contributes to seeking professional internships.

For example

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, by acquiring these kinds of practical internship experiences, we feel confident to make more comprehensive preparations before entering the workforce market.

Therefore

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, when we compete with our counterparts in comparable industries, there is no doubt that we stand at a vantage point compared to others. In conclusion，I reaffirm my position that studying

courses

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which are highly connected to your

future

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career is better, it not only can promote our living standard but

also

Linking Words

the ability to compete.

zjlslqlsFri Mar 31 2023

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task achievement

Consider elaborating on the opposing viewpoint more thoroughly to enhance balance in your argumentation.

coherence cohesion

Work on diversifying your sentence structures for improved coherence and sophistication.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear standpoint and successfully addresses the prompt.

coherence cohesion

The introduction introduces the topic effectively, and the conclusion neatly wraps up the argument.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

course of study
job prospects
market demands
employment opportunities
financial security
personal fulfillment
innovation
job market
career advancement
critical thinking
creativity
adaptability

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In developed countries, more and more people buy and use their cars. Do the advantages for people of car using outweight its disadvantages on environment.

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