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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The pie chart below shows information about world water resources and the bar chart shows the ultilization of water in egypt, saudi arabia and canada

The pie chart below shows information about world water resources and the bar chart shows the ultilization of water in egypt, saudi arabia and canada
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The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 provides a breakdown of the distribution of
water
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 and fresh
water
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,
while
Linking Words
 the bar
chart
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 outlines the differences in three selected countries, namely
Egypt
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,
Saudi
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Arabia
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 and
Canada
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. As transparent from the statistics, the major amount of the world’s
water
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 is salty
water
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 and the leading source of freshwater comes from ice.
Also
Linking Words
 noteworthy is the fact that the use of
water
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 for agricultural purposes is dominant in
Egypt
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 and
Saudi
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Arabia
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,
while
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 most
water
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 is used for industry in
Canada
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. As reported in the pie
chart
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,
while
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 salty
water
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 accounts for the lion’s share of an overwhelming 97%, freshwater constitutes a negligible minority of 3% of the total
water
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.
By contrast
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, ice
water
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 occupies the largest proportion of freshwater (70%), leaving the remaining shares at 20% and 10% for ground and surface
water
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, respectively. With regard to the bar
chart
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,
Saudi
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Arabia
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 tops the list in the percentage of agricultural
water
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 at 80%, closely followed by
Egypt
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 with the percentage of 60%
while
Linking Words
 the figure for
Canada
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 is the least, at 10%.
However
Linking Words
, in
Canada
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, the industry is
water
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-intensive, registering 65%, being sextuple the figures for
Egypt
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 and
Saudi
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Arabia
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the use of
water
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 for domestic activities in
Egypt
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 and
Canada
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 are evenly matched, in the region of 25%, being 10% higher than the figure for
Saudi
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Arabia
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, water, egypt, saudi, arabia, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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