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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of their fear of crime. Some people believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crimes, but others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is a fact that many
people
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 are afraid of leaving their homes
due to
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 their fear of
crimes
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.
While
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 some
people
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 believe more
actions
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 should be taken to reduce the crime rate, just as many
people
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 are convinced that nothing can be done. In
this
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 essay, I will look into both points of view before presenting my own opinion and drawing a conclusion. On the one hand, it is understandable for some
people
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 to be pessimistic that no measures can make
crimes
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 disappear.
Firstly
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, the fact that there are still criminals and violent
actions
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 in today’s world can be
of
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apply
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evidence. Sociologically, there cannot be an ideal
society
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 without crime. Because
crimes
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 are born out of the differences amongst individuals where some
people
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 choose the quickest and easiest way they can think of to put a stop to the pain caused by said differences.
For example
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, the gap between the rich and the poor has always existed, which causes a majority of poor
people
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 to feel inadequate to their richer peers;
and
Correct word choice
apply
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as a result
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, many
people
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 choose
to
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apply
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the easy way to end their poverty, which is stealing from the
people
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 who have what they lack,
instead
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 of putting more effort into making more money.
Furthermore
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, some
people
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 are addicted to committing
crimes
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 despite the knowledge of the consequences they bring. Take drug dealers and drug traffickers as an example, they know very well the death sentence they will face, yet they keep choosing the go down that criminal path, and even find better ways to do so without being caught
,
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apply
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 because drug trafficking brings significantly more income than a nine-to-five job.
Thus
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,
people
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 who are convinced
from
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by
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 the negative news they see that they might end up being robbed or murdered one day are not without reasons.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 choose to remain positive that more taken
actions
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 can actually help them feel safer. It is true as well when we consider the growth of our
society
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, thanks to the role of
education
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. In the past, when there was not any rule, we used to be on high alert that someone might steal our food and we would end up starving. But
then
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 we created the law and educated each other to respect others’ possession.
As a result
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, the more educated we become, the better
society
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 develops, and the safer the citizens feel.
Moreover
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,
along with
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 moral and legal
education
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,
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self-defense
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self-defence
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 is another essential topic that the authorities can provide their citizens with.
While
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 general
education
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 helps everyone to learn to become a better person,
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self-defense
Change the spelling
self-defence
show examples
 helps each of the individuals in that community to protect themselves from the wrongdoings of others. It is true that our
society
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 has become safer than it was in the past, but we cannot rely on each other’s mercy and good intentions to survive.
Therefore
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,
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self-defense
Change the spelling
self-defence
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 is one way we can be responsible for our own safety.
In my
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My
show examples
 opinion, I am in support of the statement in
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
actions
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 should be taken to prevent
crimes
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. Despite the pessimism surrounding us perpetually, we must take the matter into our own hands and ensure our own security. Because if we are idle in
this
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 matter, more
crimes
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 will occur and
society
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 will become a terrible place to live. In conclusion, both viewpoints have their own reasons.
However
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, I support taking more
actions
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, especially investing in moral and
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self-defense
Change the spelling
self-defence
show examples
education
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, in spite of the
crimes
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 that drag down our morale.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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