IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Opinions on food are changing rapidly and there are many who believe that everyone should follow a vegetarian diet because it would have a positive impact on our health and the environment. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Introduction
In
this
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 modernized world, fast food has become a
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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 dish of the young generation, which triggers a plethora of diseases.
Nevertheless
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, the public
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
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 that it is extremely beneficial for people to be on a vegetarian diet
due to
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 the fact that it could positively influence not only
on
Change preposition
apply
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our bodies but
also
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 the environment. From my point of view, I’m on the same page with
this
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 statement.
Body paragraph 1
In the first place, I suppose that a diet without meat could strengthen the health of residents. In
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 way of saying, fruits and vegetables provide a number of vitamins so that people can avoid several illnesses and
also
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 increase their resistance.
Besides
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, dwellers could keep fit
due to
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 the fact that those types of food contain a low level of calories.
For example
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, athletes make use of apples before operating owing to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 ability to serve them
for
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apply
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energy and help their
skins
Fix the agreement mistake
skin
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 better.
Body paragraph 2
Moving onto the next point, it is undeniable that the environment could be more and more clean and fresh
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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 By that, I mean
iIf
Correct your spelling
if
 the level of consuming vegetables goes up, the public
are
Change the verb form
is
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 encouraged to plant more trees to meet
the
Change the word
their
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demands
of
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apply
show examples
thems
Correct your spelling
them
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.
Therefore
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, there is a huge amount of oxygen in the air and the waste from animals can
be lessen
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be lessened
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.
For instance
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, the atmosphere of the area of
pagoda
Add an article
the pagoda
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 is regularly comfortable on the grounds that the monks use
this
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 type of food on a daily basis.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the government should propagandize the dwellers to take advantage of eating vegetables and fruits
instead
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 of meats.

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