A prisoner should stay in their cell every day of his/her sentence. That is what justice means. Do you agree with this statement or believe that prisoners could do something more constructive with their time, such as voluntary work?

Many people believe that
prisoners
should be in their
cells
forever, it would be their
punishment
.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
completely disagree with their thoughts, I think that
prisoners
should
work
a lot for what they have done.
This
essay will discuss the statement about
prisoners
and what they could do
while
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in
prison
. In my opinion,
prisoners
should do something with their time,
such
as voluntary
work
. I think they could sew some clothes for orphanages, at least they could do some useful
work
. If they serve time in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
prison
, why would not they make something helpful for people who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
in need
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
I do not agree with the statement that
prisoners
should stay in their
cells
every day of their sentence and it is not justice at all. They are criminals, murderers, and thieves so why they should stay in their
cells
and do nothing
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when they have done something terrible
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
I think they should
work
and
work
, so they could realize what they have done and what payment is for their doings. There are heavy punishments and lenient
sentence
Fix the agreement mistake
sentences
show examples
for offenders, In my opinion, I think the
prison
yard should not be for only
punishment
,it must serve as a correction
centers
Fix the agreement mistake
center
show examples
,
For instance
,light criminals who are involved in pickpocketing,shoplifting and muggers should be made to do some volunteer
work
as well as
have opportunities to educate themselves in skill hand
work
,road reconstruction with proper supervision of
prison
officers,
while
severe offenders like terrorists,murderers ,rapists and other heavy criminals show
be
Add the particle
to be
show examples
made to face hard
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
while
serving their
punishment
,
Secondly
, it would be unfair for victims that
prisoners
just stay in their
cells
that is
not
punishment
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
obviously
Add a comma
,obviously
show examples
they have gotten the sentence, despite they did not get what they deserve. I think that
prisoners
should get the
punishment
they deserve. In conclusion, I must say that
prisoners
should
work
a lot and do some voluntary
work
at least. would be fair if they have lots of
work
because it is what they deserve, being in
prison
and
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
a lot.It
Submitted by eva.tokmakova12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: