Some people think governments should care more about elderly while others think they should focus on investing in education for younger people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is considered by some city governments have to focus on elderly
people
more while
there are others who think education for younger children ought
be invested more by the Add the word
ought to
government
. In this
essay, I will discuss both views and give my own opinion.
To begin
with young children, some people
think that the city government
need to invest more money in the young generation
in order
to create a condition to study more. If government
invest more money in young children’s education, Correct article usage
the government
this
will cause more merits from that. In recent days, Correct article usage
the goverment
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
continue
to construct more educational areas Wrong verb form
has continued
such
as IT parks, libraries and even educational centres. With these conditions of these, children got more awards. As a result
of this
, it affected society with more absolute benefits. In addition
, creating much
more opportunities and conditions for the young Fix the agreement mistake
many
generation
became common in every part of the world.
I agree with the idea that government
have to be effective in Correct article usage
the government
order
to focus on elderly people
. In recent days, elderly people
suffer
from problematic situations Wrong verb form
have suffered
such
as a lack of opportunities and conditions for
Change preposition
apply
them
. It contains, these days, noise pollution become the main cause of heart attacks in elderly Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
. As a result
of this
, they spend half a pension in order
to be healthy. I think that constructing special areas or buildings which are far from roads or noisy areas would be the best way in order
to solve this
problem. As I know, elderly people
only want big
attention from their families. Correct word choice
apply
However
, it would be a problem, because, all people
try to improve their wealth. The second solution is that have a chance to meet elderly people
so that they can talk with each other.
In conclusion, the government
have to care for both sides such
as the elderly and the young generation
. I think that government
need to invest in and care about elderly Correct article usage
the government
people
more compared to the young generation
.Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay does not fully address the task prompt, and the ideas are not presented comprehensively. Provide specific examples to support your ideas and ensure your essay addresses both views as per the task prompt.
