Some people think governments should care more about elderly while others think they should focus on investing in education for younger people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is considered by some city governments have to focus on elderly

people

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

there are others who think education for younger children

ought

Add the word

ought to

show examples

be invested more by the

government

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both views and give my own opinion.

To begin

Linking Words

with young children, some

people

Use synonyms

think that the city

government

Use synonyms

need to invest more money in the young

generation

Use synonyms

order

Use synonyms

to create a condition to study more. If

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

invest more money in young children’s education,

this

Linking Words

will cause more merits from that. In recent days,

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

continue

Wrong verb form

has continued

show examples

to construct more educational areas

such

Linking Words

as IT parks, libraries and even educational centres. With these conditions of these, children got more awards.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, it affected society with more absolute benefits.

In addition

Linking Words

, creating

much

Fix the agreement mistake

many

show examples

more opportunities and conditions for the young

generation

Use synonyms

became common in every part of the world. I agree with the idea that

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

have to be effective in

order

Use synonyms

to focus on elderly

people

Use synonyms

. In recent days, elderly

people

Use synonyms

suffer

Wrong verb form

have suffered

show examples

from problematic situations

such

Linking Words

as a lack of opportunities and conditions

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. It contains, these days, noise pollution become the main cause of heart attacks in elderly

people

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, they spend half a pension in

order

Use synonyms

to be healthy. I think that constructing special areas or buildings which are far from roads or noisy areas would be the best way in

order

Use synonyms

to solve

this

Linking Words

problem. As I know, elderly

people

Use synonyms

only want

big

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

attention from their families.

However

Linking Words

, it would be a problem, because, all

people

Use synonyms

try to improve their wealth. The second solution is that have a chance to meet elderly

people

Use synonyms

so that they can talk with each other. In conclusion, the

government

Use synonyms

have to care for both sides

such

Linking Words

as the elderly and the young

generation

Use synonyms

. I think that

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

need to invest in and care about elderly

people

Use synonyms

more compared to the young

generation

Use synonyms

moxinurabjalilova

Apr 1, 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

Your essay does not fully address the task prompt, and the ideas are not presented comprehensively. Provide specific examples to support your ideas and ensure your essay addresses both views as per the task prompt.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Some people think governments should care more about elderly while others think they should focus on investing in education for younger people. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash.

Some people think that we learn best through in person interaction with the teacher in a classroom. Others believe that learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In recent years,” responsible tourists” have paid attention to preserving both culture and environmrnt of the places thay visit. However, some poelpe say that it is impossible to be a “responsible tourist”. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good father.