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Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #ages #responsibilities #home #work #school #lives
It's often argued by some people that kids during their whole childhood period should have additional responsibilities
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 doing housework or helping at work.
While
 others think that
children
 should be free outside
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school and enjoy their lives. In my opinion, they should be given
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
independence. I will discuss both views
further
. On the one hand, there
some
Add a missing verb
are some
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 reasons why some people support
first
Change the article
the first
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 idea - giving extra tasks
for
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to
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children
. One of them is preparing them for the future
life
. It means
,
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apply
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 additional tasks will prepare them
to
Change preposition
for
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 adulthood, for
life
 problems. It is
doing
Wrong verb form
done
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 with the aim of
raise
Change the verb form
raising
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sense
Add an article
the sense
a sense
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 of confidence and
feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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responsibility for their own actions.
For instance
, parents may give a task for their
child
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children
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such
 as going to a
bazar
Correct your spelling
bazaar
 and
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
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 some products
while
 they have some troubles or other work. He will communicate with others and gain experience for his future.
On the other hand
, another group of individuals believe that
children
 should be given
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
freedom after school.
In other words
, kids should have a rest or parties, play with their friends and chill out after
education
Correct article usage
the education
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 process in order to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
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diversify
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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life
. In fact, having
a
Remove the article
apply
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fun can reduce
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
stress and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
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give them
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to memorize perfect moments. In some
studies
Add a comma
,studies
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 it is proved that a kid with happy childhood has more chances
Fix the infinitive
to
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become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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successful
Replace the word
success
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 in their lives.
However
Add a comma
,However
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 I think that
children
 should be free
for
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of
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 a choice. They should decide
by
Change preposition
on
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 their own
help
Fix the infinitive
to help
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 someone or relax with friends since it will improve their
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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making
Change preposition
in making
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 decisions. And they play a key role in people's
life
.
To conclude
, extra responsibility may develop confidence in
children
,
while
 enjoying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 can make them more successful and healthier.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think the main role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 plays decisions. So independence - freedom for choice must be given
for
Change preposition
to
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 adolescents.
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extra responsibilities
  • develop skills
  • life lessons
  • work ethic
  • sense of responsibility
  • contribute to
  • family
  • community
  • playtime
  • physical development
  • mental development
  • balance
  • enjoyment
  • guide
  • childhood
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