In some countries, university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

In various nations around the world, some university students live in their own homes with families
while
others
one choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
to study in different cities.
While
there is clearly a drawback to
this
, I believe that the benefits are more significant. The disadvantage of living with family as a university student is they might be can not independent as a person in the future. It is because everything that they need is already completed by other members in their house and it is easier for the children.
For example
, the children did not do laundry or just clean up the house by themselves because they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
helpers.
On the other hand
, the major advantage is that university students can focus on their study than think about housework.
While
they doing their exam or doing study sessions they can focus because everything they need is served.
For example
, they did not need to laundry their clothes first before they
are going
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
to campus.
In addition
, they can have a support system throughout their whole college life and their family. It is important because sometimes homework or
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
can make them exhausted with college. They can have a person to discuss with
besides
their friends.
However
, the family can give them more energy to survive the hard moments in college. In conclusion, the advantages are stronger significant than the disadvantages. Despite the fact that the children might not be able to be independent people in the future, they will have a full support system from family and can focus on their studies.
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task response
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more thoroughly developed to provide a clear overview of the essay.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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