some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Presently, it is widely believed by some entrepreneurs that advertising has a crucial role
to attract
Change preposition
in attracting
show examples
potential buyers of their
products
.
However
, others opine that it is an ineffective way as people just pay attention to it for a moment.
This
essay will elaborate on
this
issue and give my personal perspective. In
this
cutting-edge technology era, adverts
give
Verb problem
make
show examples
a huge contribution to a successful
business
. Apple,
for instance
, a well-known technology company from the USA, introduced its
products
through fascinating advertising. The way Apple launched its brands not only brings financial benefits as people across the globe desire to have Apple's goods but
also
inspires numerous
companies
to do the same in terms of promoting their commodities.
Moreover
, based on plenty of research, today's
business
has a tendency to allocate a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
amount of money solely for advertising.
Hence
, advertising is significant in determining
business
advancement.
Nevertheless
, many consider that advertising is less important. The notion is based on some leading
companies
which gain success without any advertising. Taking Xiaomi as an example,
this
manufacturer has high confidence in its product quality and affordable price. Some
products
such
as smartphones and cameras can compete with other
companies
without any promotion.
In addition
, some of Xiaomi's
products
, particularly several mobile phone series, became the best seller in the marketplace.
As a result
, advertising is not as crucial as other strategies including product quality and price. In conclusion, utilizing advertising in
business
is a debatable topic. In my opinion, even
companies
should spend their money to advertise their goods, advertising has a pivotal role in their growth. It is one of the best ways to attract the community to purchase their
products
.
Submitted by salwafahanim on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on the effectiveness of advertising and providing a personal opinion. The ideas are relevant and contribute to the discussion effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion are clear and present, and the main points are supported with relevant examples. To improve, focus on using transition words and phrases to enhance the coherence between paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: