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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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The question of whether
parents
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 or
schools
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 should be primarily responsible for teaching
children
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 to be good members of society is a subject of considerable debate. Both perspectives offer compelling arguments, each contributing to a holistic approach to child development. Those who believe that
parents
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 should teach societal
values
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 argue that
parents
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 are the first and most influential role models for
children
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. From an early age,
children
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 observe and imitate their
parents
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'
behaviors
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behaviours
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, attitudes, and
values
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. The home environment is crucial in shaping a child's understanding of right and wrong.
Moreover
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,
parents
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 can provide personalized and consistent guidance tailored to their child's unique personality and needs. Through everyday interactions, discussions, and moral teachings,
parents
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 can
instill
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instil
show examples
values
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such
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 as honesty, respect, and empathy.
Conversely
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, advocates for the role of
schools
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 emphasize the structured and standardized approach educational institutions offer.
Schools
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 are designed to provide a comprehensive curriculum that includes not only academic knowledge but
also
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 social and ethical education. They bring together
children
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 from diverse backgrounds, fostering a sense of community and exposing students to different perspectives. Programs
such
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 as citizenship education, group activities, and social studies effectively teach
children
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 the importance of cooperation, respect, and civic responsibility. In my opinion, a balanced approach is essential.
While
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parents
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 lay the foundational
values
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 and morals in their
children
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,
schools
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 play a critical role in reinforcing and expanding these teachings within a broader social context.
Schools
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 complement parental guidance by providing additional resources, diverse interactions, and a structured environment for learning about societal roles.
Therefore
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, a collaborative effort between
parents
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 and
schools
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 is the most effective way to nurture well-rounded individuals who can contribute positively to society.
Submitted by preetpatel2497 on

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relevant specific examples
While the essay is well-structured and logically sound, providing more specific examples would strengthen the arguments. For instance, mentioning particular programs or methods parents and schools might use to teach societal values could add depth to your points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, but expanding on the role of schools with more specific programs or subjects designed to teach social values could make your argument even more convincing.
logical structure
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-crafted introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, summarizing both viewpoints and offering a balanced opinion.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, making the essay persuasive and coherent.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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