These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #move #area #adults #development

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An increasing number of

people

Use synonyms

are deciding to move away from the

place

Use synonyms

they were born and grew up. They usually go for living better conditions or creating a new life.

Although

Linking Words

it seems easy from an objective point of view, it

also

Linking Words

has some drawbacks. One of the main advantages is they can obtain better conditions

such

Linking Words

as good jobs and qualified education.

People

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have a chance to evaluate opportunities which they

encountered

Wrong verb form

encounter

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, comparing opportunities in their cities with the

place

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they moved

Fix the infinitive

to is

show examples

essential when making important decisions.

For instance

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, with the help of

this

Linking Words

comparison,

people

Use synonyms

can choose a job which

is fitting

Verb problem

fits

show examples

them or a school whose education is more beneficial.

On the other hand

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, there is an obvious disadvantage of moving away from the homeland.

Firstly

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, being far away from family and friends is very difficult, especially at first times. Getting used to takes time and it

is felt

Wrong verb form

feels

show examples

like being alone.

For example

Linking Words

, when you want to do some activity you can not do it with pleasure. It reduces your happiness and you can not enjoy it even if you live in better conditions or earn lots of money. In conclusion,

while

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there are negative points to moving away to new places, it is generally a chance for

people

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. In my opinion, everyone should experience living in a different

place

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in some part of their life to have some different opportunities but it should not be forgotten that the best

place

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for living

Change preposition

to live

show examples

is the

place

Use synonyms

where you are happy.

Submitted by iremsaribass on Sat Apr 01 2023

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task response

Your essay provides a clear response to the task question, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of moving away from the place of birth. However, consider using more specific examples to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, with clear progression from introduction to conclusion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger framework for your essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

metropolitan
migration
globalization
socio-economic factors
traditional norms
cosmopolitan environment
brain drain
assimilation
gentrification
alienation
multiculturalism
infrastructure strain

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These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives simpler and more convenient, while others argue that these developments have led to a loss of important life skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is predicted that robots are going to become increasingly important in our lives. How could robots be used in the future? Will this development be a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others believe that zoos are beneficial for the conservation of endangered species. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by other in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages outweighed the advantages?