In many countries, government spent large sum of money on the arts, and this is supported by some taxpayers as both why. Other, however, think that this money would be better spent on health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In some countries,
government
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the government

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invested remarkable
money
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in the arts and
this
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action
assisted
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is assisted

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by many
people
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who are taxpayers.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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belive
Correct your spelling
believe

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that
this
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investment should be directed to
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health
Correct article usage
the health

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and
education
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sectors. I believe
,
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apply

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the latter group of
people
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are more rational than others. Spending
money
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on
health
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and
education
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rather than
art
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and music will improve
general
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the general

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well-being of society in a long term.
Firstly
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,
government
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the government

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must be spent the
money
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of citizens on proper areas. There are different sectors that can beneficial for their community
such
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as
health
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,
education
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, real
estates
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estate

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, and
military
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the military

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. Investing
on
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in

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show examples
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health
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the health

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system can improve
overall
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health
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and
hapiness
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happiness

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among
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in

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society,
however
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, only
small
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a small

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group of individuals can
be benefit
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benefit

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from
art
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expenses.
Art
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serves only
bunch
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a bunch

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of
people
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which are highly educated and
represents
Correct subject-verb agreement
represent

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small percentages of their community.
Governments
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should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply

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focus on
total
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the total

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benefits of their nations. It is true that
art
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and
education
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is
Change the verb form
are

It appears that the singular verb is does not agree with the plural compound subject art and education. Consider changing the verb to the plural form.

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related to each other.
Moreover
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, these interests have
synergistic
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a synergistic

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effect
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effects

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on pupils.
Nevertheless
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,
education
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is
priority
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a priority

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compared to
art
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for parents and educational professionals. Improved
education
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can be beneficial for
pupils
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pupils'
pupil's

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perspective on life and
future
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the future

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, even their
art
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skills indirectly.
However
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, without developed
education
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, pupils would be restricted in different areas
such
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as sports, communication, morality, and ethics.
Secondly
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,
art
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provides unbelievable extravaganzas
on
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in

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show examples
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people'
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people's

The word people' doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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minds,
although
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art
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is not prior compared to
education
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and
health
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sectors. Without concerts or
art
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galeries
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galleries

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, lots of
people
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb have appears to be unnecessary here.

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lack
Correct article usage
a lack

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of
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apply

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experiences
on
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in

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their lives.
For example
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, even a concert of one popular classical music orchestra can be
detremential
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detrimental

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on
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to

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people
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's lives. Many
governments
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already know that fact and supported their citizens, especially students, for intellectual activities like that. From my point of view,
governments
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should
contunie
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continue

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to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend

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money
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on fine
art
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and music but the budget should be restricted for educational facilities and
health
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management. In conclusion,
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art
Correct article usage
the art

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sector has
large
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a large

The noun phrase large sum seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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sum of
money
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besides
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health
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and
education
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,
also
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this
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action
supported
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is supported

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by some
tax payers
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taxpayers

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and
governments
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as both why. Some
people
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against
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are against

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to
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apply

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this
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reality and believe that
this
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money
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would be spent on
health
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and
education
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. I'm supporting the latter group of citizens briefly.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate
  • funding
  • cultural heritage
  • attracts tourism
  • fosters creativity
  • innovation
  • enriches
  • quality of life
  • national pride
  • educates
  • historical
  • contemporary
  • societal issues
  • essential services
  • well-being
  • productivity
  • socio-economic development
  • healthier and more educated populace
  • philanthropy
  • taxpayer money
  • balancing funding
  • cultural enrichment
  • populace
  • proportional allocation of resources
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