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Band 5.5

Some people believe money is the best gift for teenegers, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #teenegers
Unquestionably, each coin has two sides and so are the belief of the people. Society’s people are divided into two groups and
therefore
, money is the best present for teenagers has
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 a topic of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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debate.
This
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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essay will compare and contrast both
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
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along with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 sensible conclusion. Initiating, with the points supporting
first
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the first
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 school of
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
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, that it is necessary to give notes as a form of
gift
Add an article
a gift
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.
For instance
,
according to
recent
Add an article
a recent
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study
Add a comma
,study
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 60% of adolescents are saving money for the future.
In addition
, it is going to be very
beneficially
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beneficial
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 for all the
individual
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individuals
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 who
begin
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begins
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 with
this
 strategy of funds as it will help with managerial
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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.
Moreover
,
this
 will make them understand the
principal
Correct your spelling
principle
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 of the gift.
Furthermore
, it is a difficult task for an adult to understand what shall be
the
Correct article usage
apply
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best for the kid. As they are growing through their puberty period in which,
the
Change the word
their
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 choice
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
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 on changing.
Therefore
, the best choice should be the cheque. On
its
Change the word
the
show examples
 contrasting side, the other viewers believe, that it has more drawbacks.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 recent
survey
Add a comma
,survey
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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states that 70% of students use their money on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unnecessary stuff like video games and other electronic gadgets. Which will not make them realise the importance of family, education and other things. As
result
Add a comma
,result
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this
 will
became
Change the verb form
become
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 a disaster for the parents
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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.
To conclude
, I would like to
stay
Correct your spelling
say
show examples
 that the positive aspect will be more like fund management and saving for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 which is essential to know in today's era.
Whereas
 it can be misused
also
.
However
, it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 upon the mindset of the individual and the way they are raised.
Submitted by surbhi9801 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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