Some people believe that children are given too much freedom. they feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

It is believed that, currently kids get too much freedom.

Children

Use synonyms

are often told to spend their free

time

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finishing schoolwork rather than doing leisure activities.

However

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, I think

children

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might not only focus on studying but

also

Linking Words

enjoy their hobbies, and have quality

time

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with family and friends which will be elaborated on

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

in this

show examples

essay. First and foremost, it is often

to find

Wrong verb form

found

show examples

that youngsters use their spare

time

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to finish their homework

hence

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they only have limited

time

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to study in school so the teacher will give them additional tasks.

For instance

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, when I was a student in primary school my teacher asked me to answer some questions as homework,

Linking Words

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

we discussed the answer in class.

However

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, it is good for

children

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to explore their

passion

Fix the agreement mistake

passions

show examples

and

hobby

Fix the agreement mistake

hobbies

show examples

in their free

time

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. They can choose some leisure activities

such

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as swimming, painting and skateboarding. Having hobbies will help

children

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to be more creative and increase their well-being.

In addition

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, kids

also

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spend their weekends with their families. As we know, quality

time

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between parents and

children

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is a must to create a strong bond. Taking an example, they can go for a picnic in the park and play games together.

Lastly

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children

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can use their leisure

time

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to play

along with

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their peers. Friendship in childhood is crucial to boost their social skill. As an illustration,

while

Linking Words

playing games they know how to communicate and interact appropriately with others. In a nutshell, there are some alternative activities for kids to spend their spare

time

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including working on their tasks, exploring hobbies, and having quality

time

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with their parents and peers in order to have

study-life

Correct article usage

a study-life

show examples

balance.

sakinah.snrSun Apr 02 2023

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task achievement

Ensure your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss.

coherence cohesion

Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph that relate to your main points and connect them effectively.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention a specific hobby or activity.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly.

task achievement

You have identified important aspects of how children can spend their free time.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, showing structure in your writing.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Some people believe that children are given too much freedom. they feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

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Children should be allowed to make decision on their own. Discuss bothe the views and give opinion.