IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people believe the Earth’s climate is changing as a result of human activity. What are the reasons for this? What solutions can you suggest?

#people #earth’s #climate #activity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been argued that the changes produced in the Earth’s
climate
 are
due to
 humanity. In my opinion, the overuse of different means of
transport
 and the amounts of
pollutants
 created by factories are the leading causes, but these can be solved with greater control by governments and the creation of strict laws on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
. A major factor leading to
climate
 change on Earth is the overuse of different means of
transport
, which increases CO2 emissions.
This
 problem is caused because of overpopulation and overcrowded cities, where people need automobiles for daily commuting and personal travel.
However
,
this
 issue could be solved if the government would establish a list of measures to encourage the use of environmentally friendly
transport
,
such
 as buses, trams or subways.
For instance
, the capacity of a bus is about 80 people,
while
 that of a car is only 5. If the population uses more public
transport
 with the funding provided by the government, CO2 emissions will decrease, resulting in a direct impact on the Earth’s
climate
. Another relevant factor responsible for
this
climate
 variation is the
pollutants
 discharged into the atmosphere by factories. Looking at the most famous brands, it is well known that most of them have been punished for their contribution to pollution.
For example
, brands
such
 as Coca-Cola have paid heavy fines for
pollutants
 discharged into the sea. Governments around the world should establish controls on these companies to reduce their amounts of pollution and to preserve the proper treatment of
pollutants
.
To conclude
, two major threats to
climate
 change are the excessive use of automobiles and
pollutants
 that are not well-treated by companies. Both of these problems can be addressed if the governments increase funding for public
transport
 and set up strict controls on the largest enterprises.
Submitted by carlos.terapiaocupacional on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports the thesis stated in the introduction, by re-emphasizing how transportation and pollutants relate to climate change.
task achievement
Consider expanding on how governments can enforce stricter laws worldwide, ensuring global cooperation in addressing climate change impacts.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that are easy to follow.
task achievement
The main idea is well-expressed with relevant examples, like the comparison of buses and cars to show CO2 emission differences.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: