The government should reduce the budget on the arts and spend more funds on education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I partially disagree with the
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
above that
aruges
Correct your spelling
argues
for a reduction in funds
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the arts compared to education. My reasoning for
this
, I believe that having more creatives is
benifcial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
as they have
life changing
Add a hyphen
life-changing
show examples
ideas that have
molded
Change the spelling
moulded
show examples
the world we live in today. Some examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
can think of are fashion, social media and even businesses, We will discuss why in more detail below. Creatives come from free thinking, the arts are so diverse they have a role in things like architecture,
interior
Correct word choice
and interior
show examples
desgin
Correct your spelling
design
things we see every day. They have impacted the way we dress and what media we think is cool at the time, by making trends. These creatives are forward thinkers are can predict what would be in
popluar
Correct your spelling
popular
demand for
marjor
Correct your spelling
major
businesses,
Correct word choice
and scoial
show examples
scoial
Correct your spelling
social
media
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
making
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
very useful for the bottom line. These days you need to have a creative mind or ideas to stand out, bringing something new and fresh that will capture and stay in
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
minds. On the flip side, one could
aruge
Correct your spelling
argue
that not everybody can be successful in the arts or even
bulit
Correct your spelling
buy
for it
having
Change the form of the verb
has
show examples
a higher chance at a better life in education. Education is the
buliding
Correct your spelling
building
blocks
Fix the agreement mistake
block
show examples
of life, without it mankind would not be where we are today. We as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
human beings need/ need to be educated so we are not living in
proverty
Correct your spelling
poverty
,
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
illnesses or spreading them. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
concluion
Add a comma
,concluion
show examples
we see art
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
whether we liked to or not and can
subconciously
Correct your spelling
subconsciously
stay with us. It is a great source for
individauls
Correct your spelling
individuals
to use
making
Change the verb form
to make
show examples
a difference.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
it
many
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
not provide the income
indivduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
need to survive.
Submitted by amaladem24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: