Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative a negative development?

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The advent of smartphones
have
Change the verb form
has
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caused so many problems in society. Some argue that youngsters these days spend a lot of time in front of smartphones for different purposes.
This
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essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
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situation and
show
Correct your spelling
how
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is
Correct word choice
if is
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it a positive or negative development. It is obvious that there are several reasons why youth today are utilising a lot of time on their smart devices .
Firstly
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, there are so
many
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much
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amusing contents that are available on smart gadgets these days, which gravitate young people to use smartphones.
For example
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, applications like Instagram and YouTube are the common
softwares
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software
used by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenager because it helps them to be entertained
therefore
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, it makes scholars
to
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apply
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utilise them in their
Use synonyms
day to
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
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day
Use synonyms
life.
In addition
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to that , some undergraduates
also
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spend a lot of time on smart devices
also
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because of different gaming sites . Today there are so many games that are quite interesting for teenagers because it includes shooting and other kinds of violence , which
attracts
Correct subject-verb agreement
attract
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youngsters.
For instance
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, we can see that
in
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on
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social media platforms like YouTube most youngsters
streaming
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stream
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high
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highly
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violent shooting games like pubg because it
gather
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gathers
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more young viewers.
However
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, I assume that it has
negative
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a negative
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affect
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effect
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on
younger
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the younger
a younger
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generation and there are many reasons for
this
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. First of all , it can cause so many health problems in children . Nowadays eye issues in children are increasing
day
Use synonyms
by
day
Use synonyms
because of
over use
Correct your spelling
overuse
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of electronic devices
on
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at
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night times .
For instance
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, different surveys conducted by scientists
in
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on
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this
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bases
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base
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had proved that the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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blue light from phones using eye problems in students, and it can
also
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leading
Wrong verb form
lead
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teenagers to different kinds of mental issues like depression and anxiety.
Submitted by varshajose345 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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