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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the qualities employers and employees think are important in job seekers.

The charts show the qualities employers and employees think are important in job seekers.
The first pie chart indicates the percentage of the most important qualities that employees thought about in
interms
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terms
in terms
 of five categories. The second bar chart reveals the number of employers mentioned
thousand
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times
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 in terms of ten aspects.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the least of job applicants
reagarded
Correct your spelling
regarded
 the references as the important factors,
whereas
Linking Words
, the figure for education degrees was at
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 peak. It
also
Linking Words
 can be seen that the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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ability of organisation was the most preferred for
emoployers
Correct your spelling
employers
employees
in contrast
Linking Words
 to the innovative, was the lowest opted quality. Looking at the first graph, the proportion of education was the highest, at
exact
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exactly
show examples
 39%, which was higher than the references, almost rising by 35%. The figures for technical skills and work experience shared a similar number of 24% and 26% respectively. Turning to the second table, the organised ability was mentioned
with
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apply
show examples
100
thousand
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times
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according to
Linking Words
 the hirers. Followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication and
motivated
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motivation
show examples
 skills, which accounted for over 60
thousand
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times
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, only under 40
thousand
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times
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 of innovative skill was mentioned. The other types
were remained
Change to the active voice
remained
have remained
show examples
a
Change preposition
in a
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stable range from 40 to 60
thousand
Use synonyms
times
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words thousand, times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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