IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages.

#people #behaviours #situations #age #peer #pressure
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Teens' attitude is merely based on the people around them. Some of them mimic what they normally see especially kids that want to feel validated.
However
, being with the wrong group could lead to bad behaviour. Some people argue that peer pressure is a disadvantage to young kids
while
 others may say
otherwise
. I hold the same view as those that being influenced by
friends
 is a good thing. Teenage
life
 is when they often start to mature.
This
 is where their
life
 starts to find themselves and discover new
friends
. They often find
friends
 that are a bad influence on them that could ruin their
life
.
Furthermore
,
this
 is
also
 the phase in
life
 where they rebel against their parents.
However
, with the guidance of their family, bad behaviours can still be changed and good values are still taught at home. Peers should not be the ones moulding one's character
hence
 family should understand and help them in any way.
Moreover
, young people that do not have a good relationship with their parents often find themselves valuable when they are with their peers. They are getting emotional support from their
friends
 and families and are often misled by the idea that their character changed because of whom they hang out with that well, in fact, their personality is mostly caused by their environment at home. An emotional support system is important to young kids since they are still maturing at
this
 age and having a good support system at an early age can help them grow into a better version of themselves. In conclusion, there are more pros than cons in influencing young folks' actions
due to
 peer pressure. In my point of view, having good communication between families greatly affects children's behaviour. For that, it is important that parents should open their ears and be open-minded in their kid's situation.
Submitted by dneriessa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: