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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

What do you believe is the most important problem facing the world today? Why is it the most important? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, our planet and society are facing multiple economic, political, and environmental issues.
However
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, there are doubts concerning which one of them is the most significant. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss how
temperature
Use synonyms
 and precipitation variations associated with
climate
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change
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 are the most relevant problem for the world today
due to
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 their concerning impacts on humanity´s wellness.
Firstly
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, global surface
temperature
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 increase is one of the clearest impacts of
climate
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change
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. In the
last
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 century, several studies have highlighted that the global
temperature
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 has increased between 2 and 4°C in comparison to the pre-industrial period (1850-1900).
In particular
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, the north pole and mountain areas are between the zones that have exhibited higher
temperature
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 anomalies.
This
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 is relevant for the planet because the ice and snow melting over those regions are raising ocean levels, which would
be
Verb problem
make it
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impracticable
Replace the word
impractical
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 to live in many coastal places.
For instance
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, an ocean level increase of 30 centimetres may result in floods for many cities like Miami and New York,
thus
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impacting significantly
Correct word order
significantly impacting
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 millions of their inhabitants in the future.
Secondly
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,
climate
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change
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 is
also
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 leading to less frequent but more intensive precipitation events
compromising
Punctuation problem
, compromising
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 ecosystems stability and water supply for multiple
socio-economical
Use the right word
socio-economic
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 activities. Indeed, water is an essential natural resource for economic development, human well-being, and ecosystem dynamics
mainly
Punctuation problem
, mainly
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 in areas with higher water scarcity or insecurity
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such
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, such
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 as arid regions. In
this
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 sense, it is important to highlight that most of the global population lives in these areas,
thus
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 depending directly on their resources. The record droughts in California and Amazonia are good examples. During the
last
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 ten years, California has exhibited the lowest
precipitations
Fix the agreement mistake
precipitation
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 in the
last
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 500 years. In the case of Amazonia during the years 2005 and 2010, wildfires destroyed millions of square kilometres of tropical forest, which is a fundamental ecosystem for the Earth’s system stability.
Nevertheless
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,
while
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 these regions have shown less moisture, other countries like Pakistan reported exceptional floods in 2022. These examples demonstrate how
climate
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 alterations are changing global
climate
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 conditions and increasing the risk of humans to extreme climatic events. In summary,
climate
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change
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 is the most relevant challenge that our planet is facing currently because its impacts on
temperature
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 and precipitation regime could compromise the planet’s stability and the well-being of millions of
thousand persons
Check wording
people
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 around the world.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly state your thesis in the introduction. This helps readers understand your main point right away.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words between paragraphs to make your flow smoother. For example, you can use "Additionally" or "Moreover" to connect ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to include a brief summary of key points in your conclusion to remind readers of your main arguments.
Task Achievement
You provide strong examples that really support your points about climate change.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your ideas are mostly clear and well-organized, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • existential threat
  • escalating
  • natural disasters
  • social cohesion
  • economic stability
  • disparities
  • unrest
  • technological advancements
  • privacy concerns
  • automation
  • digital divide
  • inequality
  • global health crises
  • international cooperation
  • vulnerabilities
  • environmental degradation
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • pollution
  • ecological balance
  • cybersecurity threats
  • digital warfare
  • destabilize
  • compromise
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