IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many believe that climate change is the most serious issue facing humanity, while others think it is over-exaggerated. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years,
change
Use synonyms
 in atmospheric conditions emerged as a debatable topic and now become more controversial with many people claiming that it affects
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society at a large pace,
while
Linking Words
 others reject
this
Linking Words
 notion. In my opinion, most of the problems nowadays are evolved by
this
Linking Words
 rapid alteration. Analyzing the statement and moving
further
Linking Words
, the first and foremost reason for
this
Linking Words
 trend is that technological advancements are progressing at an unprecedented pace, transforming various aspects of daily life
such
Linking Words
 as the rising number of motor vehicles on roads, which raises pollution and is considered as a major cause of
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
. Another striking reason with regards to
this
Linking Words
 is that to fulfil the needs of humans either related to house or food, deforestation increases to get space or wood fuel respectively. Forests play a crucial role in purifying the air and removing the gases from it; thereby, becoming clear to inhale, The absence of forests not only increases global warming but
also
Linking Words
 has a detrimental impact on human beings.
Conversely
Linking Words
, proving ahead the main underlying reason stems from the fact that society is grasped with other problems as well
such
Linking Words
 as crime, unemployment, poverty and many more. These concerns are often underscored and
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 is overstated by some individuals, people should allocate their energy to stop the usage of trees or plants for their own benefit;
this
Linking Words
 step ultimately, diminishes global warming. It is pertinent to mention that overuse of non-biodegradable products
also
Linking Words
 needs attention, which kills thousands of marine animals daily, leads to the extinction of species, and imbalances biodiversity. Apart from the reasons mentioned above, it is clearly stated that many are in favour of solving the problem of
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 on a priority basis.
To conclude
Linking Words
, after analyzing the aforementioned arguments, one reaches the conclusion that
although
Linking Words
climate
Use synonyms
 crisis, is associated with numerous problems.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, everyone should strive to keep their best foot forward to deal with each prevalent issue, not just emphasize one, to make it more aggravating.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. Instead of saying 'most of the problems nowadays are evolved by this rapid alteration,' you could directly express agreement or disagreement with a clear stance.
coherence and cohesion
The connection between your ideas can be strengthened by using more linking phrases. For example, using 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' can improve the flow of your paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Instead of stating that deforestation occurs for housing needs, you could mention specific regions or cases where this is a problem, which will enhance the relevance and depth of your argument.
task achievement
You have identified both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic and adds depth to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and encourages a balanced approach toward multiple issues, which is a strong ending to your essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: