IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

2-Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However, others think that zoos are useful to protect rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#-some #people #zoos #animals
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Zoos
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 have a critical role in keeping animal species. Some proponents vote for saving
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animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
show examples
 lives ,
whereas
Linking Words
 opponents have an opposite point of view. In my humble opinion,
animals
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 have the right to be set free rather than
imprisoning
Wrong verb form
imprisoned
show examples
 them.
Firstly
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, animal breeders are aggressive with
animals
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.
In other words
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,
animals
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 are exposed to
a
Remove the article
apply
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certain violence
due to
Linking Words
 their limited knowledge about the way of taming
animals
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.
Furthermore
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, animal
lose
Change the verb form
loses
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 their instinct for hunting and adapting the
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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.
For example
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, lions and tigers which return back to the wild forest,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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couldn't catch their prey spontaneously,
besides
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 may die
due to
Linking Words
 their inability to keep up with climate changes and tough
enviromental
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environmental
 issues. what can be said is that
animal's
Fix the agreement mistake
animals'
show examples
 nature
were
Change the verb form
was
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 distorted by human beings.
On the other hand
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,
zoos
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 could be a good solution for endangered
animals
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 and rare
animals
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, when the
animals
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 have been hunted by the hunting organization, it will lead to
imbalance
Add an article
an imbalance
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 among different kinds of
animals
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 in our ecosystem.
For instance
Linking Words
, pandas were killed by establishments because they
keen
Add a missing verb
were keen
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 on profitable projects
such
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 as selling the skins of these
animals
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. On top of that, establishing
zoos
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open
Correct subject-verb agreement
opens
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 up many job
opportinutes
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for the local residents. These examples show
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the
ilegal
Correct your spelling
illegal
 activities of certain
foundtions
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foundations
 and
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 merit in increasing the number of employed youths. In conclusion,
after
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this
Linking Words
 essay has shown the advantages and disadvantages of
zoos
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, it can be said that lawmakers should impose a law to prevent the extinction of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rare
animals
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. I think that the government should punish the outlaws who offend
animals
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.
Submitted by alimohamedsami22 on

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