some people believe that toruist do not learn anything during their holidays, while others believe that they learn a lot. discuss both sides.

One of the social concerns today relates to a tourist’s holiday.
While
it is widely believed that
tourists
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not gain lessons through holidays, others believe that they do. In my opinion, they can use their vacation
time
for their own interests. On the one hand, it is argued that
tourists
can not learn anything on vacation.
Firstly
, some people often stay in a resort to enjoy and recover with themselves and their families. It is
also
possible to say that they decide to spend holiday
time
to get hideaway from work contemporarily. One good illustration of
this
is the preferred destination for Vietnamese
tourists
is Vung Tau, Nha Trang or Phan Thiet with a 5-star standard resort for relaxation.
Secondly
, some of them tend to do things that are familiar to them so that they can not
enhance
Verb problem
learn
show examples
new things.
For example
, they find the most check-in places from reviewers on Tiktok or go to their favourite coffee shops
instead
of exploring the new ones.
On the other hand
, it is strongly believed by others that a holiday journey can bring various lessons to explorers. People often have
this
opinion because ,through travel, they can figure out new experiences. A second point is that they know outside working
time
is a valuable chance to reflect on what they have known. A particularly good example here is going abroad not only to see breathtaking views but
also
to understand more about the nation’s history, culture, humans and society. In conclusion,
tourists
can choose each choice for learning or not in their holidays. Personally, I tend to believe that
time
is still valuable if
tourists
choose a way to both recover and explore as well.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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task achievement
While the essay introduces both sides of the argument, there is an imbalance with more focus on the view that tourists do not learn anything. To score higher, ensure equal and fully developed ideas for both sides. Additionally, the introduction is brief and could outline the discussion more clearly. Use the conclusion to effectively summarize both views and clearly state a personal stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint. However, the transitions between points within paragraphs could be smoother and signpost language can be enhanced to guide readers more effectively. Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences and ensure all sentences within a paragraph consistently support the main idea for stronger cohesion.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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