Subjects such as art, sport and music are being dropped from the school curriculum for subjects like information technology. Many children suffer as a result of these changes. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#subjects #art #sport #music #school #curriculum #information #technology #children #changes

These days,

people

see information technology as a leading sector in the industry. Most

people

are running towards

this

industry as a

career

option because it is considered an outstanding

career

Therefore

, there is a heated argument regarding whether schools should focus more on

this

subject and drop other options,

such

art

, sport and

music

. I do not agree that we should put other subjects aside in order to have an excellent

career

. The following paragraph will explain my personal point of view

along with

some examples. We need to keep up with the current situation in order to thrive in industry 4.0.

Therefore

, it is necessary for us to learn skills related to technology.

However

, we should not keep a blind eye to other skill sets

such

art

, sport and

music

. First of all, these subjects help us to develop critical thinking and emotional intelligence.

For example

, we tend to perform in a group to excel in these courses. In another word, we learn to understand our surroundings and create relationships with others.

Secondly

, being a creative individual is an important skill to enhance our

career

For instance

people

who get exposed to

art

and

music

are the most creative and innovative. It might not seem as important as being able to code, but it is definitely principal.

People

who have

this

skill set are able to mitigate problems and provide unusual solutions. To sums up, technology is a crucial asset to have a prosperous

career

Nevertheless

, other courses are

also

beneficial since it allows us to have growth in personal development. After a thorough analysis of

this

matter, the school curriculum should not relinquish sports,

art

and

music

lessons.

Submitted by alifahrc on Tue Apr 04 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Subjects such as art, sport and music are being dropped from the school curriculum for subjects like information technology. Many children suffer as a result of these changes. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a problem in your street. Write a letter to the local town council explaining who you are, what the problem is and what you hope will be done about it.

The leaders or directors of organizations are often elder people. However, some says that young people can also take the lead of organization or companies. To what etxtent do you agree or disagree?

some people say that the main enviironmental problem oof our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. others say that there are more improtant environmental problems. Discuss both vies and give your own opinion.