Subjects such as art, sport and music are being dropped from the school curriculum for subjects like information technology. Many children suffer as a result of these changes. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days,
people
see information technology as a leading sector in the industry. Most
people
are running towards
this
industry as a
career
option because it is considered an outstanding
career
.
Therefore
, there is a heated argument regarding whether schools should focus more on
this
subject and drop other options,
such
as
art
, sport and
music
. I do not agree that we should put other subjects aside in order to have an excellent
career
. The following paragraph will explain my personal point of view
along with
some examples. We need to keep up with the current situation in order to thrive in industry 4.0.
Therefore
, it is necessary for us to learn skills related to technology.
However
, we should not keep a blind eye to other skill sets
such
as
art
, sport and
music
. First of all, these subjects help us to develop critical thinking and emotional intelligence.
For example
, we tend to perform in a group to excel in these courses. In another word, we learn to understand our surroundings and create relationships with others.
Secondly
, being a creative individual is an important skill to enhance our
career
.
For instance
,
people
who get exposed to
art
and
music
are the most creative and innovative. It might not seem as important as being able to code, but it is definitely principal.
People
who have
this
skill set are able to mitigate problems and provide unusual solutions. To sums up, technology is a crucial asset to have a prosperous
career
.
Nevertheless
, other courses are
also
beneficial since it allows us to have growth in personal development. After a thorough analysis of
this
matter, the school curriculum should not relinquish sports,
art
and
music
lessons.
Submitted by alifahrc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: