IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Ques: Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality – brings problems as well as benefits Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#ques #celebrity- #film #star #sports #personality #celebrity
Some people thought being a celebrity like a famous film star or sports personality brings problems and benefits to others. Here is my perspective thought about being a celebrity and what is my knowledge about them. Nowadays, being famous in our society is
one
 of the main sources of becoming more active in social media
such
 as idolizing them when it comes to what clothes you wear, and what there are activities to do in your everyday life and society adopts
this
 personality.
In addition
, human beings facing neurological problems like
one
 of the most is depression get a good source for their celebrities, they absorb good hormones or the happy sides of watching or listening to their favourite celebrity and forgetting the bad thoughts of being alone or thinking of some bad kind of things for themselves,
Nonetheless
, famous celebrities are understandable to idolize if it is getting a good example; but somehow they are
one
 of the reasons why some
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 or especially young age are copying them not good effect on them
such
 as because of their popularity, young age think of doing like their actions are okay to our society, how we treat our parents and some of the folk, they think it's okay not to study become famous
one
 is the answer to have a better future and worst effect they suddenly thinking hurting themselves lead to having depression. In conclusion, being a famous star it's okay but you need to be aware of a good example to people, think twice as much as they can before doing
such
 things with moderation and more benefits. As I mentioned before idolizing celebrities are risk of having a problem and
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to depression
however
 they can give
also
 a good side to others.
Submitted by cristelsarondo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: