We have too many choices in what extent do you agree or disagree?

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We have too many choices in what extent do you agree or disagree? Plenty of research said that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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teenagers and adults have
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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opportunities to contribute to their society.From my
perspective
Add a comma
,perspective

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase From my perspective. Consider adding a comma.

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I agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

proposal.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will demonstrate why its proponents are correct. One of the most important aspects is that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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technologies and gadgets are progressing year by year. Absolutely,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

condition leads to even more possibilities.
Such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as: If we choose a gadget
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

smartphone, we can use its applications for several useful purposes.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we will read something, learn cookery or
to
Change the verb form
apply

The word to is usually unnecessary after the modal verb will. Consider removing it.

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make something on the website.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,there are
another
Replace the adjective
other

The adjective another appears to be modifying the plural noun opportunities. Consider replacing it with the adjective other.

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opportunities for children in my country, one of them is the attention of our president Sh.Mirziyoyev to the sector of education.In fact,the children of poor families,disabled ,
orphaned
Correct word choice
and orphaned

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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families can
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

get higher education at the same time ,our head of state introduced the education loan for the children of families like the above, so it seems that now any child can be a student.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

considering the aforementioned points, since we have so many options,we should contribute to the development of our society as soon as possible. Mo'minova Jasmina

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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