IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many students take part-time jobs whilst studying in a university. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#students #jobs #whilst #university
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Youngsters seek opportunities to gain more money by taking a part-time
job
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 studying in a college. They
work
Use synonyms
 in distinct types of jobs,
such
Linking Words
 as becoming a waitress and a cashier.
This
Linking Words
 is not a new thing and has been happening for decades.
However
Linking Words
, there is a heated argument on whether
this
Linking Words
 situation provides more benefits or more negative aspects for the student.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain both advantages and disadvantages impact
along with
Linking Words
 my own perspective and relevant examples.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some students have massive education loans and didn't come from wealthy families.
Therefore
Linking Words
, student needs to earn money by doing a part-time
job
Use synonyms
 to cover their living expenses.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, it allows students to develop excellent time management since they have to juggle between
work
Use synonyms
 and courses.
For example
Linking Words
, they spend most of their mornings at the university and
then
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
 at a restaurant for 2-3 hours.
Secondly
Linking Words
, early exposure to the
work
Use synonyms
 environment is beneficial for youth, considering they have to be responsible and professional at
work
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, even though it is not a full-time
job
Use synonyms
, it requires a couple of hours.
Hence
Linking Words
, undergraduate juniors might not capable to take extra classes at college.
This
Linking Words
 prevents them to learn more and graduate faster.
For instance
Linking Words
, most people who
work
Use synonyms
 and study at the same time often graduate later than their peers.
However
Linking Words
, I believe
this
Linking Words
 shouldn't affect students who can manage their time well. In summary, despite the fact that there is a possibility of graduating past the timeline because of working a part-time
job
Use synonyms
, the advantages outweigh the negative effect by two points. The two points are student makes more money and can live a pretty decent life and it helps them in the development of their professionalism.
Submitted by alifahrc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: