All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects better for children's future.

#parents #opportunities #children #people #schools #skills #range #subjects #future

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Some people argue that

schools

Use synonyms

should teach

children

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skills

Use synonyms

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

, as for others having a variety of

subjects

Use synonyms

is better for

children

Use synonyms

's future. I strongly believe that

these

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

both sides are beneficial for them. And attend to one course would be great. In the first place, it is right,

schools

Use synonyms

should teach

children

Use synonyms

skills

Use synonyms

with a range of

subjects

Use synonyms

to be well-informed, well-educated, and

also

Linking Words

well-independed

Correct your spelling

well-independent

pupils. First and foremost,

schools

Use synonyms

should provide students with extra activities, and courses

such

Linking Words

as English, math, and

also

Linking Words

physical activities.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, teachers should be

well-informed

Correct your spelling

well informed

show examples

This

Linking Words

is because they teach

children

Use synonyms

and they must be second parents

for

Change preposition

show examples

pupils. What is more, parents want the best opportunities for their kids to be good-knowledgeable

Change preposition

show examples

schools

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, they think that all of the

children

Use synonyms

skills

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and upbringing

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

depend

Replace the word

dependent

show examples

on teachers and

schools

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, some parents think that having a variety of

subjects

Use synonyms

is important for

children

Use synonyms

's future. Of

course

Add a comma

,course

show examples

it is true.

This

Linking Words

is because nowadays all of the

subjects

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depend on each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

to get into

universities

Fix the agreement mistake

university

show examples

for students.

Besides

Linking Words

, studying a range of sciences is beneficial and it can provide students with high-level knowledge.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it might create

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

of jobs for them.

However

Linking Words

, at

present

Add a comma

,present

show examples

some people assume that study

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

should decrease

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unnecessary sciences.

This

Linking Words

is because they might be challenging for them.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it can develop their

skills

Use synonyms

and would be perfect.

To sum up

Linking Words

personally

Add a comma

,personally

show examples

I think

the

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apply

show examples

both sides are good.

However

Linking Words

, studying

Remove the article

apply

show examples

one subject is more important for pupils.

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Tue Apr 04 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects better for children's future.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The current trend in education is to move away from traditional exams and instead have continuous assignments over the school year. What do you think of this trend?

You recently took a trip. In your absence, a friend did you a big favour. Write a letter thanking them. In your letter, include: ● what the favour was ● how this favour helped you ● an offer of compensation

In a number of countries, some people think its is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household task equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?