IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

#cultures #children #message
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Hard
work
Use synonyms
 is really important in individual growth, and in most traditions ,
this
Linking Words
 has been taught to children that it is a vital part of a person's
life
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 statement. On the one hand, there are several advantages that youngsters can acquire by working hard. First of all, it can assist a teenager to achieve his dream in his
life
Use synonyms
. To be more precise, indoctrinating thoughts of hard
work
Use synonyms
 in a child can change his entire
life
Use synonyms
 and mindset
such
Linking Words
 as, it can help scholars to be more focused on their goals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
 motivate them to achieve any dream even, if it is hard for them . In addition , being dedicated can
also
Linking Words
 encourage children to succeed in their
life
Use synonyms
 even, if they confront failures in their careers, and
as a result
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
 assist them to understand the mistakes that they made in the process .
Consequently
Linking Words
 , helping them to gain a fortune in their
life
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working really hard can
also
Linking Words
 have some negative effects on people. It is obvious that sometimes hard
work
Use synonyms
 can emotionally break down a person because of different circumstances . To elaborate, in some situations in
life
Use synonyms
 , even if people
work
Use synonyms
 hard , they become unfortunate to acquire their goals.
Hence
Linking Words
 , it can lead them to some mental issues
such
Linking Words
 as depression or anxiety . Eventually , ending up leaving their dreams.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , working hard towards their goals is really important .
However
Linking Words
, sometimes it can
also
Linking Words
 cause some negative impacts on children
such
Linking Words
 as mental breakdowns.
Submitted by varshajose345 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: