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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Many people think that professionals,
such
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 as
doctors
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 and
engineers
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, must practice their
knowledge
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 in the same
country
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 where they trained,
while
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 others believe
otherwise
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. In my opinion, practitioners should have the freedom to choose which
country
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 where they want to
work
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 in, as there would be better
work
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 opportunities awaiting them. On one hand, if
doctors
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 and
engineers
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work
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 in the
country
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 where they trained, they can directly implement contextualized science that they learned in their training. By applying
knowledge
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that is
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 specifically tailored to the characteristics of the
country
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, they can
then
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 produce better outputs
overall
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.
For example
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,
due to
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 the high frequency of epidemics,
doctors
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 who undergo their training in Indonesia would have better
knowledge
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 of the management of tropical and infectious diseases, causing them to be better prepared if they practice in Indonesia.
However
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, I think
this
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 can be mitigated easily by requiring foreign
doctors
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 or
engineers
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 to spend some time adjusting their expertise
according to
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 the
country
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 they are about to
work
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 in before they start working.
On the other hand
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,
doctors
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 and
engineers
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 can have better career opportunities when they are allowed to
work
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 outside the
country
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 where they did their training. Take the computer engineering field
for example
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. They would thrive if they get the chance to
work
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 at the biggest tech companies in the world,
such
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 as Samsung in South Korea or Apple in the United States, as the experience and the effect it has on their careers surely would be priceless.
Moreover
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, they could
also
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 implement all the
knowledge
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 they gained back in their home
country
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 afterwards.
To conclude
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, professionals will reap many benefits from working in foreign countries,
such
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 as better career opportunities and the chance to implement all the
knowledge
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 and experiences back in their homeland.
Therefore
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, I personally think that they should be free to
work
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 outside the
country
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 where they trained.

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task achievement
To improve your score in task response, ensure that your essay consistently addresses all parts of the prompt throughout each paragraph. While you have clearly stated your opinion and discussed both views, offering more developed examples or even hypothetical scenarios would make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases. This can strengthen the connections between your ideas. It would also benefit you to have a clearer thematic progression by introducing each paragraph with a strong topic sentence that signals to the reader what specific aspect of the prompt you will address.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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