Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the modern day, several individuals think that
children
of all ages should have additional responsibilities while
others argue that, outside of school
, youngsters should be free to enjoy their life. In this
essay, I will discuss both notions and explain why I agree with the latter.
To begin
with, there are some reasons why children
should take on extra responsibilities when they finish studying at school
in a day. Firstly
, children
should help with household chores. Not only help
their parents who feel very tired after a long Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
time
working in a company or an office, but it also
improves their household skills. Furthermore
, in a wealthy family, some parents have their own businesses, and their offspring can come to work during their leisure time
to gain more experience for instance
. In addition
, it is also
a way to prepare for their future to become inheritors of that company. It can be seen clearly that these can help the young to be more responsible and mature.
Despite the above, I suppose that children
should use their free time
after school
to explore their strengths. At school
, they are already restricted because they just
only study something in a book or what their teacher says. So the Rephrase
apply
time
after school
is the best time
for them to have a chance to discover and reach their potential. For instance
, they can try different sports from football to badminton or learn new skills like dancing or skiing that are suited to their interests and capabilities.
In conclusion, although
children
may gain some potential ability with added responsibilities, they will grow up better with more freedom outside the academic environment.Submitted by jakedth162 on
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task response
The essay provides a clear response to the task and addresses both views effectively. However, to improve task achievement, provide more specific and relevant examples to support the ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is sound, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that the supporting points are more closely linked and follow a clear progression.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses a variety of words and phrases effectively. To strengthen the lexical resource, try incorporating more sophisticated and precise vocabulary to convey ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
The essay displays a good command of grammar and a range of sentence structures. However, to improve grammatical range, vary the sentence structures further and pay attention to more complex grammatical forms.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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