Government should invest in teaching science subjects rather than other subjects for country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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A common viewpoint is that investment in
science
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education can improve a country's state through development and progress. To a great extent, I agree with
this
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statement as to
this
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day, our society has witnessed the influence of
science
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subjects and how it has enhanced mankind's standard of
lives
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living
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. To commence with, one of the major benefits of investing more in teaching
science
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is the possibility of fostering another Albert Einstein.
This
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means
,
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apply
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this
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trend can help
nurturing
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nurture
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young scientists who might be able to invent something extraordinary that can immensely help the community.
For example
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, by funding more to the medical field we might be able to find cures for many terminal illnesses
as well as
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for many dangerous viruses.
Moreover
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, the recent COVID pandemic put us into a place to reflect on our negligence over many incurable diseases and infections, like HIV and Hepatitis B. So, the government should start investing in more medical research which can help increase life expectancy.
Furthermore
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, another point worth noting is that
science
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drives
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technological advancements around the globe. The everyday technologies, from smartphones to clean water systems stem from scientific research.
Consequently
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, these developments can boost a country's economy and the quality of life of people living there. In conclusion, investing in
science
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subjects can be beneficial for the society and country, because it can result in health improvements and economic growth.
However
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, solely funding
science
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subjects
are
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is
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not recommended, since other fields are
also
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important for a balanced and thriving society. To create a well-rounded, progressive world, all fields need to complement each other.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples of historical figures or scientific advancements that have greatly impacted society to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to your main thesis to enhance your logical flow throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Using a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures could improve the overall impact of your writing.
task achievement
You presented a clear argument in favor of investing in science, along with a balanced discussion about the importance of other fields.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarizes your main points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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