IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
The debate over whether sharing
information
 related to science, business and academic subjects is useful or not matters. On the one hand, some
people
 believe in publicizing
information
.
On the other hand
, others believe that
such
information
 is too valuable to be accessible to the public. I,
however
, tend to agree with the second group for a number of reasons.
To begin
 with, it is vital to take the usefulness of the first group’s approach into
count
Correct your spelling
account
show examples
. It can be that for the college students to access scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 easily. Particularly, seniors need these resources for writing a thesis and articles in their
last
 year of study.
Moreover
, it is considered that more
people
 can be informed by having
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
easy access;
as a result
,
this
 can increase the level of literacy and knowledge in each society.
On the other hand
, others are opposed to the former. They believe if ordinary
people
 could know all the subjects in these areas,
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
 security of the society would be disrupted. Many
people
 would lose their usual way of life and concern themselves with the latest news.
Furthermore
, it is the fact that when you reach things easily, it cannot be merited well. It is more likely validity and credibility of
such
 discoveries have been lost by making them public. In short, despite all the positive points
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 sharing
information
 with the public, it can deeply reduce the value of new findings. I personally stand by the view that most of the time ordinary
people
 cannot understand the worthiness of
information
 so it will be spoiled.
Submitted by nooshinhabibinejad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: