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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

#advertisements #life #development
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It is true that the frequency of advertisements is rising in our daily routines
Although
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this
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 has several disadvantages, the
benrefits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 may be far more significant. On the one hand, there can be some minor downsides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the rising of
this
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 media.
On
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One
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 possible issue is that many contents provide misleading and dishonest information.
As a result
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,
this
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leading
Wrong verb form
leads
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 consumers to make purchases that they later regret. By way of illustration, the attractive advertisements and reliable commitments of Apax Leader English,
this
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 misleading promise has
cause
Change the form of the verb
caused
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the losing money and receive nothing from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education after the Apax
bankrupted
Replace the word
bankrupt
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. Another detrimental effect could be that
Nevertheless
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, the fact that
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 marketing messages can have major advantages which overshadow these negative impacts. The most obvious benefit could be that the advertising informs consumers about new products and services which
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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 them to make informed decisions about what they purchase. By
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advertising
of
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apply
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some
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
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 or
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
, we can update
ourselved
Correct your spelling
ourselves
 with the improvement and the progress of technology. Another merit worth mentioning is that
this
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 digital media can create jobs in the marketing and advertising industries, which contribute to
economy
Add an article
the economy
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. Countless real-life examples have shown that Oppo Smartphones, which products had advertise strongly by many
idol
Change to a plural noun
idols
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 faces
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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make
this
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 company
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a strong position in Vietnam's economic market and
also
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 increase the sale at stay in
top
Correct article usage
the top
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 three common
smartphone
Change to a plural noun
smartphones
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 in Asia. In conclusion, despite the potential downsides of many advertising
campain
Correct your spelling
campaign
campaigns
 in our day-to-day routine, the beneficial effects brought about are
greater
Change preposition
of greater
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 importance.
Submitted by vihoaithichngu on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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