IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that zoo are cruel and all zoos should closed.However, some people think zoo can help protect animals Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #zoo #zoos #animals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many consider that
zoos
Use synonyms
 are brutal for
animals
Use synonyms
 and should not exist.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that
zoos
Use synonyms
 are indispensable to
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
; in my view, the size criteria of
zoos
Use synonyms
 should be decided, which allows for more comfortable
environments
Use synonyms
 and protection of
animals
Use synonyms
 at the same time. On the one hand, opponents insist that most
animals
Use synonyms
 in
zoos
Use synonyms
 live in small enclosures and cages, where
animals
Use synonyms
 are deprived of many things that are important to them, and these unnatural
environments
Use synonyms
 make them feel lonely and bored, which leads to psychosis.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
zoos
Use synonyms
 usually group
animals
Use synonyms
 from many different parts of the world with very distinct immunological systems.
Consequently
Linking Words
, diseases spread inside
zoos
Use synonyms
 easily and many
animals
Use synonyms
 get sick and die.
Additionally
Linking Words
, animal cruelty at the hands of zoo keepers, staff and visitors
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 often been reported but most cases have not been revealed or punished.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, supporters explain that
zoos
Use synonyms
 offer safe
environments
Use synonyms
 which are crucial for endangered
species
Use synonyms
.
Zoos
Use synonyms
 allow for not only entertainment but
also
Linking Words
 more awareness and funding for wildlife initiatives and research. More importantly, professionally-run breedings and rehabilitation programmes are provided by vets and biologists.
Zoos
Use synonyms
 study animal breeding and
animals
Use synonyms
 in captivity are now
reproductible
Correct your spelling
reproducible
.
This
Linking Words
 is particularly important in the case of endangered
species
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
 the low density of the population of some
animals
Use synonyms
 in their natural ecosystems, they struggle to find partners.
Finally
Linking Words
, in my opinion, some
species
Use synonyms
, especially endangered
species
Use synonyms
, can not survive by themselves and need help.
However
Linking Words
, the majority of
zoos
Use synonyms
 have insufficient space and budget, which causes a lot of problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the size criteria of
zoos
Use synonyms
 should be ruled by the government, which allows
animals
Use synonyms
 to feel their natural habitats and prevent psychosis.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
animals
Use synonyms
 tend to suffer from zoo
environments
Use synonyms
 to a certain extent, I believe that
zoos
Use synonyms
 have an essential role to protect
animals
Use synonyms
 from extinction and some large
zoos
Use synonyms
 can solve the problems.
Submitted by nanamach87 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: