Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The level of success of people is frequently associated with the amount of money they are able to generate.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some others consider that happiness is the real thermometer of accomplishments.
While
Linking Words
it is true that wealth can provide pleasure ,
however
Linking Words
, there are other parameters that determine whole prosperity.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is true that a prosperous financial situation can aid
to obtain
Change preposition
in obtaining
show examples
moments of joy.
However
Linking Words
, individuals focused merely on increasing their bank accounts most of the time neglect other important aspects of life.
For instance
Linking Words
, a father
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
works hard and has extended hours to provide for his family, might not have enough time to share with his wife and children
as well as
Linking Words
to dedicate leisure time for himself.
Therefore
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
person might be having a high level of stress and feel miserable, and in my opinion, success is having an enjoyable life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, happiness can actually be equivalent to triumph. There are many other aspects in life that contribute to reaching a certain level of personal satisfaction;
For example
Linking Words
, family, friends, hobbies, activities, and health, to name a few.
Although
Linking Words
keeping a balance of all of them is not an easy task, it is possible and it can be acknowledged as progress. I am the idea that richness is only a means to create contentment but it is not everything. Taking all into consideration and
to conclude
Linking Words
we can state that money is one isolated component that aids
to create
Change preposition
in creating
show examples
well-being.
However
Linking Words
, it by itself can not determine accomplishment. There are other elements necessary that contribute to creating happiness.
Hence
Linking Words
, the latest can be considered a synonym for realization.
Submitted by davindergill98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that relates to the topic and supports the main argument.
task achievement
Support your points with specific examples and details to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more structured introduction and conclusion to frame the essay effectively and present a concise and clear overview of your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial success
  • Personal happiness
  • Intrinsic measure
  • Contentment
  • Fulfillment
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Harmonious life
  • Career achievements
  • Social recognition
  • Subjective nature
What to do next:
Look at other essays: