Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The level of success of people is frequently associated with the amount of money they are able to generate.

On the other hand

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, some others consider that happiness is the real thermometer of accomplishments.

While

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it is true that wealth can provide pleasure ,

however

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, there are other parameters that determine whole prosperity.

Firstly

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, it is true that a prosperous financial situation can aid

to obtain

Change preposition

in obtaining

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moments of joy.

However

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, individuals focused merely on increasing their bank accounts most of the time neglect other important aspects of life.

For instance

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, a father

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

works hard and has extended hours to provide for his family, might not have enough time to share with his wife and children

as well as

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to dedicate leisure time for himself.

Therefore

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this

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person might be having a high level of stress and feel miserable, and in my opinion, success is having an enjoyable life.

On the other hand

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, happiness can actually be equivalent to triumph. There are many other aspects in life that contribute to reaching a certain level of personal satisfaction;

For example

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, family, friends, hobbies, activities, and health, to name a few.

Although

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keeping a balance of all of them is not an easy task, it is possible and it can be acknowledged as progress. I am the idea that richness is only a means to create contentment but it is not everything. Taking all into consideration and

to conclude

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we can state that money is one isolated component that aids

to create

Change preposition

in creating

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well-being.

However

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, it by itself can not determine accomplishment. There are other elements necessary that contribute to creating happiness.

Hence

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, the latest can be considered a synonym for realization.

davindergill98Thu Apr 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that relates to the topic and supports the main argument.

task achievement

Support your points with specific examples and details to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Develop a more structured introduction and conclusion to frame the essay effectively and present a concise and clear overview of your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial success
Personal happiness
Intrinsic measure
Contentment
Fulfillment
Nurturing relationships
Harmonious life
Career achievements
Social recognition
Subjective nature

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Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much. Do you agree or disagree? What other types of job should be highly paid?

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Which factors lead to this and what can be the possible impacts on the local film industry ?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important fo people. why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Advances in technology and automation have reduced the need for manual labour. Therefore, working hours should be reduced.

In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?